When we think of romantic love and those giddy, butterfly feelings, we often picture young couples falling head over heels. The blushing glances, nervous laughter, and heart palpitations of new infatuation. However, moms deserve to experience those same flutters of excitement and passion too. Being a mother is one of the most rewarding roles, but it shouldn’t mean putting your own desires and needs on the permanent back burner.
The Challenges Moms Face
Let’s be real – being a mom is hard work. Really hard. The endless cycle of tasks involved in caring for children, running a household, and often juggling a career or job can be utterly draining, both physically and mentally. It’s easy for the romance to slowly fizzle out when you’re perpetually exhausted, touched out from demands for hugs and snuggles, and haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in years.Many moms start to feel more like an unpaid maid, short-order chef, and on-call chauffeur than a loved, desired, and appreciated partner. The passion that sparked the relationship in the first place can get buried under mountains of laundry, piles of dishes, and endless carpooling. When you’re stuck in the grind of just trying to survive each day, it’s hard to feel like a sensual, romantic person.On top of the physical and mental load that comes with motherhood, there are also societal pressures that moms “shouldn’t” be focused on things like their romantic lives or their own wants and needs. The idea that good moms should be fully selfless, sacrificing their own desires for their children is an outdated and harmful notion. Moms are human beings with the same emotional needs as anyone else.
Why Butterflies Matter
That giddy, can’t-eat, can’t-sleep, can’t-think-straight feeling of new love and infatuation isn’t just for young, childless people. Those butterflies and fireworks are important for moms too. Having a romantic life that lights you up inside and makes you weak in the knees is amazing fuel for your soul. It reminds you that you’re a passionate, dynamic person beyond your role as a caretaker and nurturer.Those butterfly feelings have a rejuvenating effect for many moms who have started to feel stuck in a rut of household drudgery and the grind of repetitive tasks. Feeling desired, appreciated, and adored by a partner can be an incredible confidence booster. It’s a reminder that you’re a complex, multi-faceted person who contains multitudes beyond your responsibilities as a mother.
Prioritizing your romantic life and making room for those breathless, heart-fluttering moments doesn’t make you a bad mom – in fact, it allows you to be a more patient, present, and loving parent when your own needs are being met. Children with parents in healthy, happy partnerships are seeing wonderful relationship modeled for them.
Making Room for Butterflies
So how can moms clear space for butterflies amid the beautiful chaos and mayhem of family life? It starts with not feeling guilty about craving romance, emotional intimacy, and those sparks of desire. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether that’s from your partner, family, or even hiring a babysitter occasionally. Prioritize regular date nights, even if they’re modest ones at home after the kids are asleep. Leave the kids with a sitter and go out for a nice dinner and drinks. Make time to actually connect with your partner beyond just negotiating schedules and to-do lists.If you’re a single mom, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and look for someone who will appreciate you fully – not just as a mother, but as a complete human being with your own hopes, fears, and desires. Surround yourself with friends who will hype you up and remind you that you’re a catch.
Take care of yourself through regular self-care practices, which makes you more able to receive love from others. When you’re rested, recharged, and feeling good about yourself, you’re able to be more present and attuned to the romantic sparks in your life. And remember, you’re worthy of feeling excited, giddy, and madly in love – no matter how many loads of laundry you’ve done this week or how many years it’s been since your last real date. Moms, let those butterflies fly free.
